Things Musicians Don't Talk About
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Things Musicians Don't Talk About
Hattie Butterworth and Rebecca Toal host a podcast of insight and change in the classical music and arts professions. Delving into the often stigmatised worlds of mental health, injury, discrimination and productivity, classical music issues are spoken and revived. Join Hattie, Rebecca and guests fo...
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102. Ophelia Gordon: living though anorexia and divorce
Words hold huge power, and for a long time the word 'anorexia' felt dirty to pianist Ophelia Gordon. First experiencing its wrath while studying at th...
101. Jessica Curry: when things fall apart
'If it could have gone wrong it has gone wrong'. The last five years for Jessica Curry, a composer of contemporary classical game music, has been mark...
100. We listened to our old episodes… and immediately regretted it
We have reached episode 100 and so decided, as a celebration, we'd take a wee look back... we might now regret it! Listen as we react to the first epi...
99. Lauren McQuistin: eating disorders in classical music (live)
*Trigger warning: discussion of eating disorders, alcoholism, addiction*
From our live event at the Royal Society of Musicians on 22nd May 2025<...
98. Performative workaholism, surviving criticism and intuitive eating
Hattie and Becca discuss the need for many creatives to prove themselves to others online, often sharing data about their work. Do we need a structure...
97. Jamie Barton: embodying pride
Mezzo-soprano Jamie Barton has been fighting the corner of the marginalised in classical music now for over 10 years. From a marriage breakdown to a q...
96. Back again, but different
Entering our YouTube era...! And we're talking about returning to things we didn't expect to: Hattie to America and Becca to the harp.
We also...
95. Meditation for musicians: calming the inner critic
After a performance we term as 'bad', it can be difficult to return to a sense of confidence in our playing. In this fourth mediation, Ruth Philips le...
94. Meditation for musicians: connecting with your audience
Our aim as musicians is to communicate generously and freely to our audience but we rarely turn towards ourselves with the same degree of care. In thi...
93. Meditation for musicians: reconnecting with your instrument
This meditation aims to bring you closer to your instrument and aid in healing any sense of disconnect you may be feeling
Discover Ruth Philips...
92. Meditation for musicians: pre-performance anxiety
A meditation for musicians lead by cellist and mindfulness meditation teacher Ruth Philips for use to calm the mind around stage fright and performanc...
91. I wasn’t as good at the cello as I thought I was
'On returning from America, I listened back to lots of my old recordings and discovered a paradox: I had no confidence but also thought I deserved mor...
90. Lucy Humphris: embracing otherness
This week we interview trumpet player Lucy Humphris about her journey through music college and the contemporary music scene. We speak about the insti...
89. Rigid control, guilt and returning to exercise
Eating disorders and intense practice obsession have a lot in common. How do we move from an 'all or nothing' mindset to something structured and regu...
88. Beyond the 'woman' conversation: Gillian Moore and CN Lester Live at RSM
There are statements made time and time again when you approach the topic of women in music: 'but historically music by men is just better', 'I'm sick...
87. Emily White on grief, teaching and the joy of letting go
10 years ago trombonist Emily White lost her husband after a prolonged period of illness. She was thrown into the worlds of death admin and loneliness...
86. Book Club: anti-psychiatry and doublings
Is capitalism to blame for the mental health crisis? Should we separate the art from the artist? Rebecca and Hattie have been reading non-fiction. And...
85. Mark Brierley on being seen, classical music marketing and the origins of RSM
Mark Brierley came to the world of classical music via journalism and without any prior knowledge of the industry. Now, as Head of Membership and Comm...
84. Musical theatre and emotional regulation
It's Becca's turn to sit down for a solo check in with the help of some listener questions. The grief journey continues, as does the freelancing, and...
83. The ambition trap and entering into stagnation
Hattie sits down for a late night chat about everything on her mind this Christmas. New Year's resolutions, jealousy, musician guilt, ambition and the...
82. Linton Stephens on living authentically with a public platform
We asked Linton Stephens to come and speak about authenticity for our first live show at the Royal Society of Musicians. A musician and broadcaster wh...
81. Jalayne Mitchell: Classical Wellness
Back in February we talked with the legend, Jalayne Mitchell. It was such a special episode that we had to keep it brewing for many, many months. Jala...
80. Grief, talent and ethical dilemmas
CW: death; brief mention of disordered eating
What happens when someone dies? How do you talk to someone who's lost a parent? What's wrong with...
79. The unedit: my 2017 nervous breakdown
The start of an unedited series of podcasts.
TW: mental illness
Hattie shares the story of her 2017 nervous breakdown and reads a blog she...
78. Matthew Barley on psychosis and healing through ayahuasca
When cellist Matthew Barley was 16 he tried to take his own life following a drug-induced psychotic episode. He then went on to channel everything int...
77. London Podcast Festival with Ayanna Witter-Johnson
This was a big one for Things Musicians Don't Talk About: our first live show!!!! We are so grateful to the London Podcast Festival for inviting us to...
76. Laure Chan: bridging cultures and breaking norms
We're back with our first interview after the summer! The brilliant Laure Chan speaks with Hattie and Becca about her cross-cultural, genre-bending cr...
75. Blog Special | What if I continue putting on weight forever?
Trigger warning: eating disorders, weight (no specific numbers)
A different format of episode this week! Becca reads out her latest blog on her...
74. Returning to places of trauma
Reflecting on recent trips back to our former music schools and colleges, we chat about the complex emotions that arise when revisiting places of past...
73. Ruth Philips: non-violence and the art of rest
When cellist Ruth Philips was 29 and studying in America, she left her room as she wanted it to be found after her death. So certain was she that the...
72. Q&A: TMDTA origins, music schools & workplace politics
We thought we'd celebrate hitting 3,000 Instagram followers as some sort of milestone in this crazy journey to cultivate much-needed honesty in the mu...
71. Chloé van Soeterstède: conducting through pregnancy & motherhood
In this episode of Things Musicians Don't Talk About, Becca sits down with Chloé van Soeterstède in her dressing room at the Royal College of Music. C...
70. Queerness and power abuse in classical music: Tár & Maestro
Another chatty episode for you lovely lot! This was recorded for our last Voices radio slot in February 2023. Hattie and Becca chat about queerness in...
69. Zygmund de Somogyi: burnout, belonging, and community in composition
This week we come to you (unintentionally) from the Royal Opera House! We speak with composer, theatre-maker, and journalist Zygmund de Somogyi about...
68. Callas, fatphobia and surviving sexual assault
TW: sexual assault we do discuss an experience of sexual assault/harassment about halfway through the episode so feel free to skip through / give thi...
67. James Partridge: childhood nostalgia
A very Happy New Year from us at TMDTA! To kick off 2024, we have an episode recorded waaaaay back last year with the joyous James Partridge. We speak...
66. Jess Hands: when music soothes
On our Voices Radio slot this month, Becca interviewed DJ Jess Hands about her experiences with mental illness and how making music has been a healing...
65. Simon Höfele: breaking the norm
Welcome back! This week we speak with astounding trumpet soloist, Simon Höfele, taking a peek behind the scenes of his stunning international career t...
64. Gavin Higgins: Tourettes, OCD and surviving opera
Composer Gavin Higgins found that music was the only thing calmed his severe facial tics as a young kid. After an assessment at the Maudsley Hospital,...
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